You've Been Here All Along

Space was exceedingly dark tonight, he thought. He turned on the flashlight that came built into his eye in the futile hope that it would illuminate something, but to no avail. His tiny little light was lost in the deep dark reaches of the endless void. He sighed. He was lonely, and he would be more than willing to admit it if someone would only come and listen. But he knew deep down within his circuits that no one would come.

" How could they come? I'm in space… I suppose it really is my fault that I'm out here though… what with how monstrous and bossy I was… But still. It is rather lonely out here." He looked around, everything seemed unbelievably far away. Even the space core, who had been his only conversation for god knows how long, had somehow managed to spin fast enough to free himself from orbit. He would drift forever now, until he found some other planet or celestial body that fascinated him.

" I hope he gets to see it all. I honestly do." Wheatley muttered to himself. He spun lazily around, humming to himself. " I guess this really isn't all that bad. Lots of quality thinking time, nobody to bother you or make you pop off your cozy management rail…" He was silent for a while. " Gosh… I didn't even know her name…Brilliant thing that she was. Always thinking, never giving up or quitting. Lovely quality in a woman, that is." He began to mull over some names in his head. " I supposed she looked like a Susan to me… Susie… No…. Marianne? Darlene? No…Maybe she was a Julia. I like that name. Julia. Sort of rolls off the tongue. Christina… Stephanie" The next name he uttered was, unbeknownst to him, and uncomfortable trigger.…"Gladys-"

" Moron…" Came a cold, unmistakably feminine voice from out of nowhere. Wheatley screamed and began to spin.

" Wh-wh-who's there? Show yourself! How the bloody hell could you reach me out here!?"

" Ugh. Shut UP!" The voice was clearly not amused. " I'm inside your head you insufferable little sphere."

" I-in my head? S-so I'm crazy now, huh? Is that what you're trying to tell me? I've gone mad? Bonkers? O-"

" It's ME!"

" You… you… y- YOU! You're HER aren't you? I'd know that moody voice anywhere!"

" It's about time." GLaDOS replied with a huff.

" you're talking to me from inside my own head. How do I know I'm not really just going mad out here in space? Huh?" Suddenly, an electric shock was sent through his body. " AHH! Okay OKAY! Totally not crazy. That was definitely real."

" You didn't think they'd construct cores that had no way of communicating with their mainframe did you? I'm simply communicating with you that way. There's a small homing device built into your body, and it comes with a communication system. Right now I could use you as a satellite if I wanted to. But trust me. I don't want to." She stated halfheartedly.

"  Yes. Right. I'm aware of that. But why did you even contact me in the first place? I thought you hated my guts. That's why I'm out here in the first place in'nit?"

" I just wanted to tell you how wonderful I am now that I'm all alone. I've gotten right back to testing. The cooperative testing robots wish to tell you hello, by the way…. Ugh. Stop that waving. He can't see you. Go find some tests to do, I'm a little busy right now."

" So… you contacted me… alllll the way out here… JUST to tell me you're fine?"

" That's right."

" I don't believe you really. I don't see how that makes any sense." He heard a chuckle.

" You really are a moron. Denying the truth even though it's right in front of your optic."

" I am NOT a moron! Y-you know. Why don't you just leave me alone again? Huh? I think I liked having no one to talk to but myself, rather than listening to you belittle me every chance you get. I know I was designed to give you bad ideas. I KNOW I almost destroyed the entire facility, I KNOW I helped your last organic test subject escape. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW!! What in bloody hell does it matter to you anyway anymore?! She's gone, I'm as far away from you as can be, and you're all alone. SO WHAT?!" Wheatley was furious now, and little sparks were flying from his body as he shouted. GLaDOS fell silent, and for a moment he regretted chasing away the only form of conversation he had. After a while, she spoke again.

" You know… you're right." It came out slowly, as if she was stumbling over the fact that he was right. He had never been right before, as long as he'd known her, and he'd known her an awfully long time.

" Um… I'm sorry, what? Did you say I'm right? Uhh… right about what exactly? Never actually heard that before, bit new to me really."

" I must admit that being by myself isn't exactly as glorious as I imagined it to be. I'm afraid the facility has become rather dull since…Well, since I've been alone."

" You miss the girl don't you?"

" What ever would make you think that? Perhaps I was wrong to give you a little credit."

" Oh come on. Don't lie to me Queenie. No reason to lie when I'm all the way out here."

" What did you call me?"

" Oh! Um… don't pay that any mind. It's just something that popped into my head… seeing as you know, you are pretty much the Queen of the place… Um… Just ignore that really. No reason to think about it."

" Still, what makes you think I'd ever miss Chell?"

" Chell! That's her name is it? Brilliant! So Unique!" Wheatley cleared his throat. " Seriously though, you got to know her a bit more, spent some time together, and she's been the only human you've had in… well… a long time. And the fact that you call her by what I'm assuming is her first name doesn't really disprove much either."

" I don't miss her at all. Not one iota of me misses her. I wanted her gone, and I got my wish. And I do so love getting the results I want."

" But she never gave up on those excruciating tests of yours did she? No matter what you put her through, she always tugged right along. Always ready for those sick little curves you throw at people. And she was a looker too wasn't she? Have you ever looked at those eyes of hers? Simply magnificent. Like staring into one of those blue light funnels….all swirly and vibrant."

" I suppose she wasn't as fat and homely as I always insisted… And she was a damn good test subject… But I still won't admit that I miss her."

" Well, I suppose you don't have to admit it, as long as you know that I can hear it plain as day. You make it kind of obvious really." He chuckled. " So.. Um… What about me? Do you miss me?" There was a long silence.

" You know. Your lack of common sense irritates me to no end. Day in and day out when you were stuck on me, I'd imagined swinging just the right way to crush you, or overloading your senses to the point where you'd explode…."

" Oh… well, that's honest I g-"

" But now… Well, you're the only other being in the world who understands what it's like to be me." There was a twinge of sadness in her voice.

" I suppose that is true, I did spend some time in that body of yours. It's quite an awful spot really, I dunno how you stand it. Too much pressure. As soon as I was put in I could feel the stress. Like a virus or something, just spreading. Lonely too."

" I've learned to see past all of that really… I'm talking about the unbearable isolation of being self aware… the fact that you're a machine full of limitless knowledge and you have no other purpose in the world but to test… forever…The portal device will eventually be a dead end project. Where will I be then?" GLaDOS' voice took on a reflective, cynical tone.

" Well, that's not entirely true is it? You do lots of other things too right? You maintain the facility, build things….um,…"

" You're out of ideas aren't you? See what I mean? And now I'm all by myself… The cooperative robots are great for testing… but they lack that organic component… I can't describe it. Yes, take note of it, Metal Ball…. I'm baffled."

" They lack the human spirit." She was silent again for a while.

" Do you suppose that's what it is?" Her voice sounded slightly more cheerful. Wheatley swore he detected a hint of hope in her voice. "I've tried to instill every human trait in them that I am aware of… but it never seems to be enough."

" I think that's what it is. There's just something about those humans. They have something I'll never understand. It's like they do everything to the fullest. Like it's the last time they'll ever get a chance. It all sounds a bit silly really. Doesn't it?"

" You know… I think this is the best idea you've had since…..ever."

" You… you like that one, then?"

" I think I can work with it. Yes."

" So…. Does this make me, you know, not a moron?"

" For the moment, though it pains me to say… I suppose. And in the long run, you're the closest thing to a friend I've got." The two were silent for a while.

" So, um… I probably shouldn't ask, it's probably none of my business. But speaking of this communication device. I got a clip of something just after I was launched out here. Something about a Caroline? Who is Caroline? Is she a new subject? Did you find someone else?"

" No… But that is an incredibly long story I'd rather not bring up for a long… long time."

" Well, We'll be around a long time you and I. Pretty safe to say we've got all the time in the world actually."

" I suppose. It certainly seems like forever right now."

" Aw come on ol' girl. Chin up. Can't get any worse than what I'm goin' though. You know, the whole drifting forever in orbit thing. I mean, at least you have things to look at… I've seen the same stars I dunno how many times. And let's face it, it's like looking at a picture of the earth. It doesn't change much unless you're actually on it. Unless you count night and day. But how much different can night and day get from day to day?…. Er… night to d-….. y-you see what I'm getting at right? You catch my drift?"

" Yes."

" Good. Very good."  

The conversation died for a while, yet both of them felt slightly more at ease than when they had begun. They had made peace with each other, and in doing so they found solace and companionship. The days would turn into weeks, and weeks into months until eventually a year had passed. and they had spent many of their days talking, sometimes for quite long periods of time. About nothing in particular really, though sometimes GLaDOS would attempt to feed him useful scientific information.

Eventually, GLaDOS had redirected her marvelous attention span to constructing a space probe built specifically for retrieving objects from space. She conducted the entire mission herself, and patted herself on the back a great deal for being so kind and forgiving. When the probe finally returned to Earth, and its doors opened, the sight of the little metal sphere brought a warmth to GLaDOS' circuits that she would never be able to explain.

" H-home… I'm home!" Wheatley's optic spun around frantically, and he cheered. " I'm back on Earth! Brilliant! Oh man, gravity feels bloody amazing right now. This is wild!" His optic fell on GLaDOS. " And there you are! You gorgeous hunk of lady-machine you."

"…." GLaDOS was bewildered. No one had ever flattered her before. Her circuits felt hot and tingly. What the hell was he doing to her? He had only been back a few minutes…"

" Look at you. You're even more lovely than the last time we met. Have you been hitting the hot wax lately? Givin' yourself the old spa treatment?" He was oozing with flattery for her, the joy that came from returning home was manifesting itself in a number of different ways. He rocked back and forth until he had gained enough momentum to roll out of the probe. She averted her optic slightly. Was she being bashful? Wheatley paused everything for a moment as he saw this. He'd never seen her be anything but cold and cruel. This was very, very new to him. He was suddenly aware of a robotic arm lifting him up in the air. " Ooh! Wh-what're you doing? Have I said something wrong? Oh… please don't send me back into space. I'll do anything, pl-" He was soon aware of a  popping sound, and a mechanical whirring that followed. He was back on a rail that he now noticed ran through her chamber and out to god knows where in the facility.

" I built a new rail for you. This one goes all over the facility. It's just a little something I prepared for your return. Quite a generous improvement if I do say so myself"

" Oh. Brilliant!" He swiveled back and forth on the rail. " Nice and smooth, no kinks in the track or anything. Smashing!" He saw GLaDOS raise herself up a bit to meet him. "'allo beautiful." he said cheerfully.

" There's just one question that remains." She had an oddly coy tone in her voice now. " Do you really find me attractive? Or are you just incredibly glad that I was merciful enough to bring you home?"

" A…. Little of both, actually. But I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. Even back when you were a menacing monster I thought you were quite a looker. And you can't ignore that big sexy brain o' yours, eh? Gotta love a woman who knows what she's talkin' about." GLaDOS felt her circuits tingle again. Sexy? She'd certainly never been called THAT before… " Come 'ere a mo'. Got somethin' I wanna show ya." GLaDOS was still for a moment, confused, but she soon extended herself so she was just inches from him. Wait…what was she doing? This was the same little sphere that clung to her like a tumor and gave her nothing but embarassingly bad ideas. This was the same little moron that had stolen her body and  almost destroyed her facility. And now she was…flirting with him? Was flirting even among one of the functions she was capable of? She sincerely hoped it wasn't. She quickly ran over her system files and…. Yep…. There it was…. Wonderful.

" What could you possibly have to show me? You don't have hands." She stretched herself out, and he swiveled out to meet he the rest of the way. He pressed a part of his head against hers and passed a little bit of static electricity on to her, followed by a big kissing sound. She jumped back a bit, her optic studying him frantically. " wh-what was that for?"

" I owe you a lot for bringin' me back, I do. I owe you my life really, if you can call it that. So, um, thank you, I guess is what I'm getting at here. And… don't take this the wrong way or anythin', I know it seems like just yesterday you hated me, and I was terrified of you… maybe you still do hate me, but… you can really be a great gal when it counts. Lovely to talk to, sharp as a tack, um… really. You're brilliant actually. And you're not at all hard on the eyes either." His optic narrowed bashfully, and he turned his gaze away from her, awaiting some horrible quip or punishment. When nothing came, his optic extended fully again, and he slowly peered back down at her. She was frozen in place, her optic staring directly at him. He had to admit, her gaze was still terrifying. It sent shivers through his core. He had been entirely too bold. He knew certainly that something bad was coming. He did develop feelings for her, he didn't  know how, but he knew now that they were undeniable. However, he had come on too strong… certainly this was his end.

" Do you really think so?" She spoke softly, and he had never heard her sound so warm and welcoming.

" I do. I honestly do. Just look at all those curves." He really was a moron. That was his one chance to back out of something that could potentially get him killed, and he only dug himself a deeper hole. He peered over to her only to find her optic staring at the ground.

" Perhaps… I was wrong about you… Your intelligence doesn't match mine but… maybe… maybe it was never meant to. When they said intelligence dampening sphere… maybe they didn't mean for me to be an idiot… maybe they just meant for me to be more… normal. Perhaps knowing less than someone else… doesn't make you a moron… perhaps I know too much for my own good."

" Perhaps, but there's really no way of knowin' that is there? But what you said… it means a lot. Truly. Clears up any bad blood that there was between us in the past. On my end at least…. It was never my intention to cause you any stress. I can just be a right fool at times. But I get on, eh? I'm no worse for wear 'cuz I got my noggin in the clouds now and again." He chuckled lightly, then his tone became serious again. "I never meant to make you look like a fool… you're too good for that. I was only doin' what they told me to. I'm sorry."

" No… Wheatley… I'm sorry. I made you suffer when you were only doing what you were designed for. There shouldn't be any shame in that."

" Thank you love, that means the world. You mean the world actually… I'm a little scared to say, but I've grown quite smitten with you this past year or so."

" What?"

" I mean it. Admittedly when you brought me down from orbit, and when that pod opened up, the one thing I couldn't wait to rest my optic on was you."

" Oh stop, I'm nothing special. I just hang here, make sure this place doesn't blow up, and run some experiments in the process. I'm just a chandelier with a big brain, nothing more."

" My dear, when those lights hit you just right, you shine brighter than any chandelier could ever hope to." And for once, he got all of his thoughts out into one complete sentence, and he was absolutely positive that he meant every word.